Dear Mr. V,

Thank you for not abandonning me. Thank you for feeding me. Thank you for walking me in the morning when mommy won't get out of bed. Thank you for taking me to the dog run every day and letting me eat sticks while I'm there even if that's the only thing I do. I love sticks. Thank you for picking such a great mommy. Thank you for feeding me oranges. Thank you for teaching me how to fetch. Thank you for naming me Mister President. now if you just start working a little closer to home, my life will be perfect.

Keep feeding me,

MP