1. The woman down the hall. She lives with her door mostly open and has frequent and loud arguments with nobody in particular. Her haunts include: the garbage closet, located next to my apartment door, to discard handfuls of garbage (crumpled paper and dirty tissues) on the floor and never down the chute; the corner deli, back and forth, in and out, all day long, having heated, exasperated conversations with noone in particular. She is in her mid-forties or early fifties. She wears plain cotton blouses, black pants and low, comfortable heels. She dies her hair red. She disappears every few months and when she comes back, it takes about a month for her to build back up to her old self.
2. A man on the corner of 23rd and 1st avenue who accused me of being a male prostitute then cocked his hand and stamped his foot as if to punch me. I was wearing a khaki jacket and jeans, showing very little skin other than my head and hands. He was wearing clean khakis and a hooded sweatshirt, giving no visible warning of the other cross-the-street-or-else crazy types I had encountered before. He was mumbling to himself, asking me a question. I made the mistake of leaning in closer and saying, "what?" which must have thrown his delusion for a loop. And that's when he started with the cursing and punching and male prostitute bit.
3. A woman on the subway wearing dirty driving gloves and talking to everyone in a southern drawl. She seemed only friendly when she struck up a conversation with one woman about what was in her Macy's bag. The more she talked, the more she revealed herself as crazy. But in a polite, unobtrusive way. The netted gloves were a dead giveaway.
4. A man on Avenue A swinging a square-edged metal briefcase at head level. He smashed it against a brick wall not far from my head. He was pretty mad, but not at me. The flow of traffic around him changed their path by a few steps and looked at one another in recognition of the crazy, swinging briefcase man, but otherwise it never happened.
5. A black man walking east on 7th Street at 6:30am screaming about his great hatred for every white person in the world and walking straight for me, the only person and only white person in his immediate view. A cop car pulled up beside him when he was halfway down the block and he crossed the street, which saved me from having to.
