It is almost two o'clock on one of my writing days--a day I do not go to Paragraph, but stay home and write. Right. In other news, my physical therapist gave up on me two days ago. Physical therapy was the last box to check for conservative treatments that might help (but did not help) relieve the pain from a large herniated disc that rendered me useless fifteen weeks and three days ago. Next week, I have appointments with a neurologist and a neurosurgeon. I wish I hadn't bothered checking all those boxes and was cut open, stitched up and recovering already, but my mother says I am not allowed to think like that. And I'm not. It's surgery time! And I can already feel my mood lifting at the prospect of getting this thing behind me for real.

Really, it is. I've cut down feeling sorry for myself in the early morning and late evenings. I'm even dreaming about traveling again thanks to a lovely reconnection with a friend I met traveling in Nepal years ago and an article in The New York Times about nifty farewatching sites. South America? Scotland? The Bahamas? There's no end to places you can go when you have aligned hips and a flexible schedule.

Can it really be over a month since the last post? Meaning, can it really be over a month and my back continues to nag and nag and nag? But here I go feeling sorry for myself again. The only thing I seem to be good at these days.

In late February, my back started to feel slightly better. My attitude improved. In mid-March, my back started to feel a lot worse. I fell into another depression. Overall, it's the same and I'm not good at judging small increments. I've stopped getting my hopes up after one good evening where my hips look almost straight. I've stopped thinking I feel up to a ten minute walk because I've been inside for two days and not in too much pain. Three blocks, and there's the pain. I felt okay yesterday. I was able to walk from my office on 14th and 6th to physical therapy on 23rd and Park. That's the longest walk I've taken in three and a half months. Victory?